She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
