On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
