We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
