Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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