Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
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