Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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