I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
