I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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