The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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