when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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