so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
All the doctor said was why
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize