Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I think I am morally bankrupt
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real