u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
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Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.