The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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