omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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