Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
