butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
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Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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