If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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