Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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