There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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