Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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