We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
