like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
