Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
