We're like a lot better than the average bears
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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