Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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