I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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