Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
