How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
