i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I need water and some morals
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
