do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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