I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
