Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
