how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
