JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
