I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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