here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Randomize
