Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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