She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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