Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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