is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
