I wish I could teleport
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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