I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I wish there were birth control emojis
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I believe in your delicious
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