Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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