i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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