yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
