I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize
