I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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