last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
