pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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