brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
