I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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