your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
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