My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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