I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
