we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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