I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Randomize
