i think my mom watched the whole time
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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