Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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