This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
