Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
