she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
We need a shit load of segways right now
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
