you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
