we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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